"You Get What You Make"
- Abbie VanMeter
- May 14
- 2 min read
"You get what you make"
This is a central tenet of Coordinated Management of Meaning (CMM), but only recently have I really come to appreciate it. Lately, these words have been coming to mind a lot in my life- like the other day when I hesitated to cancel an upcoming podcast recording when I started feeling sick because I didn't want to seem unprofessional. But, then I thought "you get what you make..." And I decided that I what I wanted to make was a way of being in the world where I said what I needed and prioritized well-being in a way that allowed others to do the same.
When I communicate with conversation partners before we record, I always include a note that says this: "In the interest of being conscious of how the way we are arriving affects our interaction, if you are feeling distracted, tired, or unwell- physically, mentally, or in any other way- on the day of our recording, feel free to let me know and we can reschedule. Because we only get one chance to record together (hard to recreate a conversation we already had), I prefer that we reschedule instead of 'powering through' and recording a conversation where one or all of us are not able to be fully present or engaged for one reason or another." Three people this year have already asked to rescheduled, specifically saying they felt they could ask because I included this note. I just needed to take myself up on my own offer! And I could (huge for someone who is very practiced in "powering through" when my body is telling me to "slow down!") because I had laid the groundwork that established this as acceptable and normal.
"You get what you make"
Never has this felt more true to me than in my most recent podcast with Richard Propes. Richard is living this in every moment of his life and you can hear it in our conversation. In talking about his Tenderness Tour, we uncovered some greater truths about tenderness- what it is and how you make it when you search for it.
In 1989, Richard set off on his first Tenderness Tour, traveling by wheelchair 1,000 miles around the state of Indiana in 41 days, with a simple mission to see if there were "good people" in the world.
Since then, he has wheeled over 6,000 miles and raised over $1 million dollars for charitable organizations world-wide. Most recently, Richard completed a 160-mile wheelchair ride in September 2024 that raised $115,000 and eliminated nearly $17 million in medical debt for Hoosiers (people who live in the state of Indiana for my international friends) :)
"You get what you make"
Richard Propes went looking for tenderness, but in that looking he created it himself and he created the conditions to welcome others into more tender ways of being, too.
I hope you'll listen in on this conversation with Richard.
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