How can you choose NOT to internalize something today?
Just because people say things to you, doesn't mean that you have to receive them. This is a practice of choosing new meanings AND I think it also helps us to gain empathy for others. This is something I am thinking a lot about in my life right now. When someone in my life brings me fear or shame, if someone is trying to control me in a way that feels like distrust or disrespect, I am trying to ask myself: "Why might that person have needed to say that? What can I understand about them from what they said?"
At the same time I am seeking to understand the other person better, I am also seeking to understand myself and tend to my own needs. I can ask myself: "Do I want to receive that? What does it mean to me that they have said that?" When I ask these questions and consider the answers before responding, I can respond to the humanity and the story that I can now see behind the statement, rather than just reacting to the statement and taking it at face value.
For me, this is one way to set healthy boundaries in relationships, which means that the relationships can last in a sustainable way. There are people in our lives who communicate their love, feelings, and thoughts differently than we would. One way to navigate relationships with these people is to BOTH allow them the space to say what they need to say AND allow yourself the space to do what you need to do, too. This isn't about letting people get away with saying hurtful things, or not holding them accountable. Instead, this is a small practice in beginning to understand that sometimes the things that people say or do is so much more about them than it is about you. How can that framing help bring a new perspective to your interactions?
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